we're a size and a half
and what we enjoy
is a good belly-laugh.
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Everything
for plus size women and teens, and big and tall men.
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Humorous Quotes [
fat thin food / chocolate related
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Quotes. - { The
"He/She's so fat " humorous
one liners are on this page
} Whenever
cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in it's infinite
mercy, |
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I'm
already two years ahead on my daily fat allowance. I'm looking for
skinny people
to see if I can borrow theirs. - Jo Brand I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There's no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer |
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It was
like going to bed with a bicycle
Anthony Burgess { on sleeping with Yves St Laurent's models } Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out -- They've just eaten them - Jo Brand |
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I am
in shape. Round is a shape
I am a nutritional overachiever |
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Practice safe eating -- always use condiments . My
ancestors didn't spend the last 2 million years clawing their
way |
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Who am I to dishonour the ultimate sacrifice made by this noble
beast |
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Eat
right. Stay fit. Die anyway
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever |
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The
next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage
disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in
the world. --Robert Orben |
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Part
of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let
the food fight
it out inside. --Mark Twain Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was. |
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Never trust a dog to
watch your food. --Anonymous child on TV. |
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How
can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? --Charles
De Gaulle
Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that? --Lisa Claymen |
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Cucumber
should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar,
and then thrown out. -- Samuel Johnson Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. --Michael Levine, nutrition researcher |
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There
are four basic food groups, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white
chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing." Denis Leary. |
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Other
things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate. --Patrick Skene
Catling
Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. it is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits. --Baron Justus von Liebig (1803-1873) German chemist |
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If
a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get
it out, stir it well in
and it will give the soup a French taste. - Jonathan Swift The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin |
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Don't
wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate
isn't like
premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good. --Lora Brody Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.. --John Q. Tullius |
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Only
Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat .- Alex Levine
Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate! --Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences |
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"I
like children - fried." - WC Fields.
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds." - Joan Rivers |
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It's
not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute
for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than
a man. --Miranda Ingram
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment. |
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The
superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will
soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America
which it has in Spain. --Thomas Jefferson
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces -- Judith Viorst |
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For
the chicken the egg demands involvement, but for the pig bacon demands
total commitment. - John Price
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. AW Brown |
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I often
take exercise. Why only yesterday I had my breakfast in bed. - Oscar
Wilde
If one swallows a cup of chocolate only three hours after a copious lunch, everything will be perfectly digested and there will still be room for dinner. - Brillat-Savarin |
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Las
cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate
thick.)
--Spanish proverb Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. --John Milton, The Devils Advocate |
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If
you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will
revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and
again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
--Marquise de Sevigne, February 11, 1677 What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. --Katharine Hepburn |
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Nobody's
last words have ever been, "I wish I had eaten more rice cakes."
--Amy Krouse Rosenthal I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer |
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When
you're not blond and thin, you come up with a personality real quick.
--Kathy Najimy
It’s hard to be devil-may-care When there are pleats in your derriere. It’s hard to surrender to sin while trying to hold your stomach in. -- Judith Viorst |
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I am not overweight, I am
underheight - My weight is perfect for a man of 7'9" -- Victor
Buono
I can't understand why a stick-insect thin woman is desireable, - except maybe she doesn't cost as much to feed, since she doesn't eat anything except grass -- Brian Marshall 
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