Many
on-line sites will scan in a photo for free, so there really aren't
any good excuses for not doing it. A
person may also send you a photo of somebody else. Be cautious.
Use
the telephone, - use a pay phone first
At the right time, a phone call will tell you many things about
a persons ability to communicate. Keep your number anonymous if
possible, and use the conversation to find out more about the
person to make sure you want to meet. Also call a co-worker, a
friend, or a family member. The more people you talk to, the safer
and more sure you will be. Only share your phone number when you
feel absolutely sure about trusting the person. If you are being
pressured to meet, don't go if at all uncomfortable. If you do
decide to meet up, take the other precautions we advise below.
Meet
only when you are ready.
Many times our excitement about a person makes us impatient.........Be
Patient! One of the wonderful things about meeting somebody online
is that you can gain so much information about a person before
you feel you need to meet. You have NO obligation to meet anyone,
ever. Stay away from those people that make you uncomfortable.
Warning
signs.
Behavior such as anger, demeaning or disrespectful comments, physically
inappropriate comments and behavior, intense frustration or attempts
at pressuring or controlling you are obvious warning signs. Stay
away from people like this, ignore them, they pose a threat to
your safety. Below are a few more things to watch for:
-
Information given to you about age, interests, appearance, marital
status, profession, employment, and other information is inconsistent.
- If they will not speak to you on the phone after establishing
an ongoing relationship.
- If they dodge and will not directly answer questions.
- If in person they are quite different from his or her online
profile.
- If they will not introduce you to friends, professional associates
or family members.
Meeting for the first time, never go
alone.
Take a friend, always! Choose the safest possible environment.
Even if you think you know every detail about a person and you
trust them implicitly, meet in public where many people are around.
Also, tell someone where you are going and when you will be back.
Give your date's name and telephone number or any other information
to that person. Use your own transportation to get to and from
the date. Go somewhere very familiar to you. Be brief, one or
two hours is plenty. There is no need for a 5-10 hour date! You
will have plenty of time for that later. If your date disagrees
with this guideline or any of the guidelines listed here, you
shouldn't meet that person.
Traveling
far to meet someone.
Use your own transportation always. Don't allow your date to make
the arrangements. If the location where you are meeting seems
unsafe, awkward, or inappropriate - go back to your hotel. And
of course, make sure a friend or family member knows your plans
and has your contact information. Take a cell phone with you if
you can.
How
to get out of a jam.
Just leave. Its always better to be safe than sorry. Your safety
is obviously more important than worrying about embarrassment,
your behavior, or what another person may think of you. Just
leave.
Please read our
disclaimer
Online dating safety guidelines